Eat more walnuts.

Probably the best advice I can give you.

You Are What You Eat.

I'm changing my lifestyle dramatically, because I can.
I'm going to try out life without meat, recreational/mind altering substances and negative music.
It will be interesting to see how much of an overall impact this has, especially socially.
I'm going to see how much I can enjoy myself, because its been a while.

New Discoveries.

It's obvious I've been through some real rough patches lately and I only have myself to blame.
Sometimes I wonder if I subconsciously tried to undo myself, or wanted to see how far I could go down the rabbit hole.
I think I might have been running from the fact I believed my best days are behind me and never jumped off the merry-go-round to consolidate my thoughts. If I don't believe in myself anymore, then who will? For a long time I honestly believed we were discovering new things about reality -and in a way I guess we were, but it left me more upset with the information I found than when I begun. Ignorance is blissful, it must be... But it's selfish. I honestly believe the planet is in real trouble unless we all change how we live our lives dramatically. I'm going to start contributing as much as I can by helping myself get back on my feet.

Revelation.

Reality is the only god there is.

Fear Is The Mind Killer.

Sobriety starts now.

My Heartfelt Apology.

Since at least the beginning of my blog, life has been a gradient from positive to negative... seriously, check it out if you have the time. I'm really sorry, especially to those who have looked into my eyes and seen me, as you'd imagine I didnt plan it to go this way. Far beyond what I expected. I thought a kid who never wanted to hurt a soul with good intention would survive. That kid was mudered by curiosity and the intent of assholes. I am something in-between that kid and death. Why the morbid and negative thoughts? I'm pretty sure no matter what, as you get older, life gets progressively worse.. maybe not, but there's definitly things you shouldn't understand or comprehend. There's definitly things I shouldn't understand. There's things I need so desperatley in my current state, but because of the desperation of the state I'm in, will never obtain. A catch22 you might say. Why should I exist? I wanted so desperatley to have a son. I wanted to show him how beautiful life can be, teach him that love is all that matters, its the only thing that really exists and everything else is just bullshit... teach him things I can't even teach myself anymore.....I can't even READ THE LINES I USED TO THINK I COULD READ BETWEEN.

3rd Wheel or Seperate Vehicle

I keep holding on and on and ON.
I have been completely destroyed and it will be an absolute miracle if I get through this.
The only thing thats getting me through this is the fact the theres still something evidently alive...
Dan (me) is such a beautiful creation.... I have such a great perception... I've tried to heighten that perception
and its helped and also hindered, but in the end I still exist and the fire in my belly is still there and the ability to create magnificent work is still there, I can feel it.... the last few years have been such a hard struggle, -I could never have imagined existence to be so tough
but I'm here in the now and there's small flashes of time were I can feel ok, and thats fine with me... you can take your fancy social lives, your fancy cars, your fly women... I'll be fine, here in the now existing, with, as it seems, such a fantastic creative mind (thank god, because thats all I seem to have to begin with) much love to the human beings who make my existence worth while (you know who you are!) and double respect to the gold womenswho have given me beautiful love (yeah you know who you are!) -but seriously, both categories and the merges of are what keep me going so thankyou!

Important Information Is The Psychologically Abused Wife Of Time

'Celebrate life 'till you're lifeless'
So a text message goes from a friend. The timing here was superb. I have lost everything but existence. I really have nothing important to say anymore, or I've just realised nothing is important enough to comment on. Why push the envelope, why watch it bend? What is the lack of interest?...no seriously, if everything is uninteresting, is that an individuals defective perspective or a heightened realisation that nothing matters.

Here, Well n Weathered and Something Else

So I'm in Melbourne and so far it's been a blast. Caught Nine Inch Nails last night and it was amazing. Trent put his be all and end all into showing us how its done but then again, I didn't expect anything less.

Stay where you are.

Woah I think I've stumbled into reality. Like the real reality. Bare bones reality. It not such a bad place, just a little too... exposed. Like theres nothing fake about it whatsoever, you see everything for what it is... everything. Takes a while getting used to, but its bearable.

Jetsettin'

Its been months in the making and now the time has come. I'm off to Melbourne next week to hang with some over-the-border buddies, witness Nine Inch Nails bring the Rod Lava Arena to the floor and enjoy some refreshing new scenery. My older brother and my dad are travelling around Australia as we speak and if I'm lucky we'll rendevous in Melb. Speak soon, peace.